My Life Story
EDITH WATT
Hello, my name is Edith Watt and I am thirty-two years old. I am
a Chinese Canadian. I was born in Hong Kong, but my family immigrated to
Canada when I was seven years old. I have only one sister, two years older
than me. I went to college to study Recreation Administration and worked
as a director of a recreation centre for nine years. I quit my job this
past summer to serve Jesus Christ full-time. I am now a missionary with
Youth With A Mission and the leader of this mission team.
I grew up learning about God in my school in Hong Kong. I remembered
going to class after school to hear about God. Even at a very early age,
I respected and believed there was one God who made the earth and everything
in it, but I did not know God in my heart. When my family moved to Canada,
my sister and I looked for a church to go to in our neighbourhood. Even
though we did not understand English at all and were only seven and nine
years old then, we wanted to go to church, but we stopped going soon after
because we did not understand what was said.
I enjoyed my high school years very much. I was a good student and
I was very involved in sports. I won the award for the best female athlete
in my senior year. I was the captain of many of the teams, so I was always
in a leadership role. I did not have to work very hard at being good in
sports, it came very naturally to me. I was respected by all the students
and was very popular at school because I was good at sports. I based my
identity (who I was) on sports and how well I played. I used to get very
angry and upset at myself if I made mistakes and did not play a perfect
game. Because deep down in my heart, I thought I would lose the respect
and approval of others if I did not play a good game. I actually lost my
enjoyment in playing sports because it was became so stressful for me with
all the pressure I put on myself, but I continued to because I did not
know who I was without it. I was scared to lose my identity and I needed
the approval I received from others.
When
I entered university, I did not join any teams because I had to concentrate
on my studies. It was at this time that there was a very deep desire to
know the God I had heard about when I was in school in Hong Kong. I began
to search for a church with my sister. We found a very good Christian church
and began to go. The pastor explained who Jesus Christ was and what He
did, that He came down to earth to suffer for us so that we may be forgiven
for our sins, that His love was freely given. I did not have to work for
it. All I had to do was open my heart to receive it. I learned that Jesus
wants a personal relationship with me and that He loves me unconditionally.
I did not have to perform in order to get His love and approval, like I
did with sports and all areas of my life. I realized that I wanted to do
well in everything because I desperately needed the love and approval of
my parents. They rarely ever gave me praise and say that they are proud
of me, even though I excelled in sports and school. I never quite knew
if I was good enough. They were quick to point out my mistakes. So to hear
that Jesus' love for me was not dependent on how well I always performed
was something that I had a hard time understanding, but I wanted desperately..
I
accepted Jesus as my God five months after I started attending the Christian
church. I have been a Christian for twelve years now. Jesus has healed,
tranformed, and restored my life. He has changed me to be a better person
in very patient and gentle ways. For example, I had very thick pride in
my heart. I always tried to be strong on the outside because I did not
want others to think I are hurting inside. I wanted to present myself as
'perfect', that I can handle anything in life. I was taught to always present
myself as strong by my parents, even when there were many times when I
was hurting so much inside. Therefore, I had a hard time telling and showing
people my feelings in my heart. This caused a lot of loneliness. I wanted
so much to be known for who I was, that I was not a person who always can
handle anything, that I also hurt inside sometimes and needed to cry,to
be loved and accepted.
Through Jesus's love and acceptance, He has been teaching me how
to be humble and that humility is not humiliation, but liberation. This
is so true because whenever I have chosen to be humble with someone, to
show who I really am, freedom comes into my heart and I have peace. It
says in the Bible that "Jesus opposes the proud and exalts the humble".
Humility is the only way. It has made my relationship with my family and
friends so much better. I also no longer depend on sports for my identity,
because I know who I am how−I am a child of God. This is my identity.
I can go on and on about how great Jesus is. He has set me At the Dougo
spa free! He has shown me a new and better way of being. I love Jesus with
all my heart and I pray you will come to know Jesus for yourself one day.